ThePullenCount.com

As it's National Poetry Day, here's an early example of my ouevre, recently uncovered from the family archives. Originally penned on 19th September 1983, it is a wry look, using artistic licence, at the experiences, objects, and relationships of a pre-pubescent boy trying to express gratitude and find joy in a sometimes confusing world. 𝗠𝘆 𝗕𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 When term ends,  Playing with my friends,  Playing with my brother,  Running to take cover,  Trying on new vests,  And spelling tests,  Riding my bike,  And playing with Mike,  Holidays in the golden sand,  Listening to the Boys Brigade Band,  Coming home from school,  And then swimming in our pool.  Craig Pullen Aged 8.

I've had a long standing fascination (I hold back at obsession) with Celtic hoofer, choreographer, flautist, martial artist, actor, and lover Michael Flatley. I read this book on holiday a few years ago, and it's the most unintentionally hilarious book that I've read, full of self-aggrandising quotes and hubris. It opens with this quote from The Independent's Matthew Sweet: "Flatley wants to take on the world. Then he wants to have sex with it. Then he wants to do its accounts".  And it gets better from there. He prints big ups from Mandela (Nelson): "The world needs more people like Michael Flatley", and Clinton (Bill): "He is an Irish American treasure". When I've finished, I shall watch his spy film Blackbird, extensively referenced through this work (18% on Rotten Tomatoes).

Just to be serious for a minute: I'm not usually an own brand crisp guy, and that's a hill I'm prepared to die on, but for reasons of curiosity and availabilty, I bought a multipack of ASDA Meaty* today. On eating the Roast Chicken, I was struck by how similar they are to Tayto's Chicken, which are superior to Walker's Roast Chicken. There. I said it.  You can taste the gravy on them. Could it be that I've uncovered a  conspiracy at the hands of Big Crisp?  Do Tayto make crisps for ASDA? It appears so.  If the similarity in taste wasn't proof enough, the word "CONSPIRACY" is an anagram of "ANY CRISP CO"! This goes all the way to the top. *£1 for 6.  2 x Chicken. 2 x Beef and Onion. 2 x Smoky Bacon.

Just to be serious for a minute: anyone taking children away to a seaside resort or similar this year should be aware of a substance called "Blue Sauce". I've witnessed first hand the chaos which ensues when a child is given a 99 Flake with sprinkles and blue sauce.  Blue Sauce, especially when combined with ice cream, Flake and sprinkles causes a huge rush of energy, euphoric mania, and irrational behaviour, before the user comes crashing down into a despondent state. Sure, it sounds like fun at first, but it's not worth it. The dealers seem affable, friendly, kind even, but they won't be there to pick up the pieces.  I'll be doing all I can to ensure that this scourge doesn't make its way from the coastal resorts to inner cities, via sophisticated county lines operations. Just Say No to Blue Sauce.

In this installation, (Collapsed Utopia) the artist explores the decline of two diametrically opposed ideologies: The aspirational detached house, a product of Thatcher's ruthless social mobility, sits with a Soviet-era Yugoslavian-built Zastava decaying on its unkempt drive.  The juxtaposition of these emblems, sitting in leafy, well-heeled Edgbaston is stark, jarring; uneasy;  totemic of Birmingham's post-industrial decline.  Or summat. 

In previous international tournaments, England fans would proudly display the St George Cross from their cars and houses. Some would happily paint their faces and skin with the national colours. St George Cross headwear would be sported. Look around you now; there's a distinct difference; a noticeable lack of such adornments in the run up to the England v Croatia game. My theory: In the post Operation Raise The Colours world, people who previously would have sported the flag happily, innocently, as an expression of support for their team are now reluctant to do so, for fear of aligning themselves with the toxicity of that "movement". In essence; their violent, thuggish campaign to display more England flags has resulted in the exact opposite.  Those stating this isn't hooliganistic behaviour would do well to view this clip ; Charles Manbun Hooligan Skipping down a Brighton Street with his grim bunch of henchpeople, inviting his opposition to tell them what they are ...