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I didn't choose the pickle life: The pickle life chose me.

My father is a picklesman, and his father before him, so I have mixed feelings about dropping this jar of Mr Pullen senior's pickled onions on the kitchen floor. They're salvagable, and their aroma will serve as a reminder of my picklesman heritage, like when I spilled a jar over the upholstery of my brand new company car. 
Recent posts

Disgraceland - end of an era.

Mixed feelings as I begin the process of putting Disgraceland up for sale, marking an end to my diplomatic presence in the troubled  North Birmingham region. The property (the name of which was agreed upon  after the originally proposed name* was deemed to be beneath the dignity of the office) served as my official residence during my time as Lord Mayor of Pheasey, as well as my home, which I shared with Jez Alsop, before we consciously uncoupled: indeed, this portrait hung in the reception room, much to the delight of guests and tradespeople alike. Many parties and receptions were held, where the great and good, the not so good, the not too great, and the downright terrible mingled with luminaries and notable figures from North Birmingham's music, literary, journalism, mercantile, politics, philanthropy and arts scenes. Indeed, the terms of the Brilliant Thursday Peace Agreement between Pheasey and KS were agreed in its hallowed rooms. It was not unus...

Pheasey's Premier Night Spot

Loving this flyer from Fast Eddie's, the "Premier Nightspot" formerly known as the Bella Pais. Situated on the Beacon Road, it served as a convenient late night meeting point where the young citizens of Pheasey, Streetly, Aldridge, Walsall and KS would convene to trade commodities, and participate in robust debate amongst the numerous pool tables and cues. Fun fact: Karaoke host "Mad Ian" is now in an institution for the criminally insane.  That's what I heard anyway. Flyer from the private collection of Pheasey Lewis

Rupert Lowe? Rupert No.

This guy though. Fully expecting him to announce a policy of custodial sentences for people who put the milk in first, and fines for damp spoons in the sugarbowl (both policies I could wholeheartedly get behind, I should add).

Andy Windsor

"A rude, arrogant and entitled man who could not distinguish between the public interest, which he said he served, and his own private interest". But apart from that, he's sound, yea? I'm picking up some animosity from Trade Minister Chris Bryant, who called for Andy to be sacked as trade envoy multiple times in 2011, in part because of his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein. He'll need some lint free gauze for THAT burn. Any deference to the Andrew formerly known as Prince is a thing of the past; his punishment so far (apart from the arrest) is for his name to become gradually less posh.  He'll be Andy Windsor by the time he gets in front of the beak.  

While they're "Uniting The Kingdom", Untie The Flags.

Just thinking; on May 16th, when the "patriots" are at the Unite The Kingdom Rally in London, wouldn't it be a jolly jape to remove  all the flags, while they're not looking. The beauty of this is: anyone who objects can't be a true patriot; if they were they'd be in London. Sort of like the witches ducking stool concept of yore, or a modern reboot of S chrodinger's Cat; Schrodinger's Racist, if you will. Just a thought, like. 

Will yourself be watching The Apprentice?

New The Apprentice drinking game: Take a drink every time someone: Incorrectly uses a reflexive pronoun: "That was myself, Lord Sugar" Says: "Price point". Says: "Thrown under the bus". Every time Lord Sugar is called away on "Urgent Business". Every time someone "Smashes it out (of) the park"