ThePullenCount.com

As it's National Poetry Day, here's an early example of my ouevre, recently uncovered from the family archives. Originally penned on 19th September 1983, it is a wry look, using artistic licence, at the experiences, objects, and relationships of a pre-pubescent boy trying to express gratitude and find joy in a sometimes confusing world. 𝗠𝘆 𝗕𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 When term ends,  Playing with my friends,  Playing with my brother,  Running to take cover,  Trying on new vests,  And spelling tests,  Riding my bike,  And playing with Mike,  Holidays in the golden sand,  Listening to the Boys Brigade Band,  Coming home from school,  And then swimming in our pool.  Craig Pullen Aged 8.

I've had a long standing fascination (I hold back at obsession) with Celtic hoofer, choreographer, flautist, martial artist, actor, and lover Michael Flatley. I read this book on holiday a few years ago, and it's the most unintentionally hilarious book that I've read, full of self-aggrandising quotes and hubris. It opens with this quote from The Independent's Matthew Sweet: "Flatley wants to take on the world. Then he wants to have sex with it. Then he wants to do its accounts".  And it gets better from there. He prints big ups from Mandela (Nelson): "The world needs more people like Michael Flatley", and Clinton (Bill): "He is an Irish American treasure". When I've finished, I shall watch his spy film Blackbird, extensively referenced through this work (18% on Rotten Tomatoes).

Just to be serious for a minute: I'm not usually an own brand crisp guy, and that's a hill I'm prepared to die on, but for reasons of curiosity and availabilty, I bought a multipack of ASDA Meaty* today. On eating the Roast Chicken, I was struck by how similar they are to Tayto's Chicken, which are superior to Walker's Roast Chicken. There. I said it.  You can taste the gravy on them. Could it be that I've uncovered a  conspiracy at the hands of Big Crisp?  Do Tayto make crisps for ASDA? It appears so.  If the similarity in taste wasn't proof enough, the word "CONSPIRACY" is an anagram of "ANY CRISP CO"! This goes all the way to the top. *£1 for 6.  2 x Chicken. 2 x Beef and Onion. 2 x Smoky Bacon.